


Master of his domain

by sloganeer



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-29
Updated: 2006-03-29
Packaged: 2017-10-10 21:19:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/104395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sloganeer/pseuds/sloganeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McKay knows the interesting part of the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Master of his domain

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Seinfeld and the one about masturbation. Thanks to ljuser=barely_bean.

For every trade ritual involving food and drink, song and dance, there are a hundred more John could live without. Like the ritual the natives call "cleansing", where each member of the team is led to a hut and their own wooden tub.

"You've got to be kidding."

John doesn't do baths.

-

The water is already hot, and the steam fills the tiny space. John undresses as soon as the guards leave. A quick dip, a quick once-over with the loofah-looking thing, and he can get on with the negotiations. He's just getting used to the water, when there's a scuffle, and a struggle outside, then McKay's voice, and John isn't surprised at all. He pulls on his t-shirt and pants -- as much armour as the guards left him -- and steps out into the clearing.

McKay is on his knees in front of his own hut with the chief standing close by. Rodney didn't have time for t-shirt, and his hair and pants are wet.

"You may go now," the chief tells John. He's talking to Ronon and Teyla, too, who have emerged from their own huts. It is very clear that Rodney is not included in the chief's permission to leave.

"Geez, McKay. What did you do this time?"

-

It takes Teyla's calming voice, then a quick kick to Rodney's shins, and an apology, but the team is allowed to return to Atlantis. It's another hike back to the gate, through the humid jungle, and John wishes for that bath now. Rodney is sufficiently embarrassed, and doesn't have a single complaint the whole trip home.

"What did you do this time?" Elizabeth asks when they step through the gate, two hours before check-in.

"It was McKay!"

She smiles down at the team from her control room perch. "That was my second guess."

-

In Elizabeth's office, John claims a chair in front of the desk, and Teyla takes the other. Ronon stands in the doorway. Rodney sulks on the couch.

"Well?" Elizabeth takes her chair. "Let's hear it."

John starts the story, describing the hike to the village, and the village itself, miles from where it was supposed to be. Teyla continues, describing the ritual cleansing and the negotiations that were to follow. That's when the room turns to Rodney.

"McKay knows the interesting part," John explains.

Rodney has his face in his hands, and he's folded over on the couch.

Elizabeth prompts him when Rodney refuses to look up. "What happened?"

Muffled, he says, "They caught me."

Elizabeth looks over to John, but he's confused, too. "Caught you?"

"You know." Slowly, Rodney uncurls himself, and stares at a point over John's shoulder. "I was alone."

That's when John gets it, and a snort from the doorway says Ronon gets it, too.

"Rodney, I'm not sure--"

"Don't make me say it, Elizabeth."

"He was alone," John repeats for her.

After another awkward pause, Elizabeth says, "Oh." She doesn't hide her smile.

-

Teyla quickens her step to catch up to Rodney as he tries to escape. John stays close, and listens.

"Dr. McKay, I am not sure I understand."

"Well, I'm not saying it again." Rodney's temper is back.

"I do not believe you have said it at all."

Usually, John would take this moment to teach Teyla a little more about Earth and America, and about the behaviour of their inhabitants. This particular image, he would be happy to spare her.

"A compromising position, Teyla," he offers.

Rodney turns and glares. John watches Teyla's eyes widen, and he knows there's enough understanding there. Then she's laughing, and Rodney is off again. The team follows him down the stairs to the gateroom, and down again to the space carved out for off-world equipment and weapons. John has heard more than one of his men call it "The Locker Room".

"Yeah, well," Rodney says, struggling out of his vest. "I'm not doing that anymore."

"What, never?"

"Never again, Colonel." Rodney announces it to the room like a proclamation of war.

John and Ronon share a quick look, and Ronon says, "You'll never make it."

"And this guy knows," John adds, pointing to where Ronon sits, checking over his gun.

"I'm serious," Rodney adds.

"I'm sure you are." Hanging his vest with the others, John turns to face Rodney, crossing his arms for effect. "We just don't believe you."

"I know I can hold out longer than you."

John holds out a hand. "It's a bet."

-

He catches Rodney again in the mess hall. John grabs a tray, then sneaks up behind him in line. "Ronon's in."

"Oh, that's not fair. The guy's got a seven year headstart."

"And Teyla wants to play."

Rodney twists around, and John steals the last red Jello. "What? No. How's that gonna work?"

John shrugs. "She said she'd give us odds."

They find two empty seats at the end of a table of Marines. A few of them nod in John's direction, and he waves. Rodney scowls, and digs into his pasta thing.

"So, what's the wager?"

"Well, money's out," Rodney says, waving his fork about. He pokes the big guy sitting next to him, and John almost doesn't get a hand out fast enough to stop the guy from hitting back with his fists. John grabs his Jello and Rodney, and they escape the mess hall for a quieter space.

"What about dessert?" John says.

"After you make me abandon dinner, I'd expect it, Colonel," Rodney says, and he reaches for the Jello. John lets him have it.

"I meant as the wager. Dessert."

"For a month," Rodney adds, with an excited gesture that sends Jello flying.

-

The mood in the jumper is tense. Breakfast was tense, and so was the briefing. Elizabeth asked three times before she got a straight answer out of Rodney. Now he's sitting behind John, and his knee is bouncing. John has been twitchy, too. He and Ronon are running more and talking less. Teyla is spending more time alone, and she says, every time Rodney asks, that she is only meditating.

"How we doing, McKay?"

The bouncing speeds up. "No anomalous readings, Colonel."

"And the other thing?"

The bouncing stops. "I'm in control."

"Master of your domain?" John asks.

"I am king of the castle."

On the other side of the jumper, there's a laugh. Teyla and Ronon are watching them with identical looks of amusement.

"What about you?"

Ronon shrugs. Rodney was right. The guy's not just quiet; he's calm, disciplined, and he's not the kind to give up so easily. In the co-pilot seat, Teyla's eyes are closed, and her chest moves up and down with each deep breath. Behind him, Rodney's knee starts bouncing, then John's eye starts twitching. John knows a losing team when he sees it.

-

Elizabeth sees it, too, when they return from the planet of the tall, blonde, warrior women, and Rodney by-passes the team, the control room, the debriefing, and disappears down the hall.

Ronon asks the room, "Anyone see dessert today?"

-

When John can get away, he goes looking for Rodney. He's not answering his door. John listens closely for the shower, and closer for the sounds of Rodney giving up his dessert for a month. The door opens when John asks it to, and he walks in.

There are weeks of ignored laundry on the floor, and the only light in the room comes from Rodney's laptop and its default SGC screensaver. His P-90 is still clipped to his vest, and Rodney threw both on his unmade bed. John moves them to the floor with the rest of the clothes, pulls off his boots and jacket, and adds them to the same pile. He lies on the bed, sits up again to brush away crumbs, punch the pillow, and find a comfortable spot.

The bathroom door is open, and John can hear the moment the shower to stops.

"Ronon wanted me to tell you he wants chocolate, and not the cheap stuff either."

It's another couple minutes of silence. Wearing boxers and a t-shirt, Rodney steps out with a towel over his head. He throws it on the pile on the floor before he says, "Sorry to disappoint, Colonel."

"You didn't cave?" John pushes up on his elbows. He really is surprised. "Rodney McKay survived the planet of the blondes?"

"There by the grace of something." After he finds two clean but mismatched socks, Rodney sits on the bed by John's hip, and pulls them on.

"You wear socks to bed?"

"I'm cold."

John can see that. He can see the goosebumps on the back of Rodney's neck, above the worn edge of his t-shirt. "Shower?"

"Are you done, Colonel?" Rodney glares over his shoulder at John. "Can you see I'm getting ready for bed?"

John is on his back, and looking at anything but Rodney when he says, "I can see." Rodney pokes him until John gives in. "I can see you, Rodney."

Sometimes Rodney looks at him like John is another piece of the city he hasn't figured out yet. Except John knows there isn't anything Rodney can't figure out with enough time and motivation.

"I'd like to sleep now," Rodney says.

"OK." John rolls onto his side, making room for Rodney on the right.

"Why aren't you leaving?"

John shrugs, because he honestly doesn't have the answer to that question. He knows this contest was supposed to be fun, just another way to wind Rodney up and watch him go. But he knows it's only been a week, and his eye is twitching again. With a fistful of t-shirt, John pulls Rodney down on the bed.

"Wait--" but John doesn't let him.

"It doesn't count, Rodney, when it's someone else's hand."


End file.
